How Schema Therapy Helps You Escape the Traps of the Past
Have you ever felt like you're walking in circles? As if an invisible script makes you choose the wrong partners, work to the point of exhaustion, or postpone your dreams for fear of failure.
Schema therapy explains this simply: in childhood, to adapt to the world, each of us puts on special "glasses" that shape our perception of ourselves and others. For example, if a child was praised only for achievements, they might have put on glasses with the inscription: "I am loved only when I am perfect."
In adult life, these "glasses" turn into mental traps. We continue to look at the world through these old lenses without even noticing them. They distort reality and cause us to fall into the same painful situations.
Why do we Fall Into These Traps Again and Again?
When something in the present triggers our old pain, we react automatically in one of three ways:
Surrendering to the trap. We unconsciously recreate painful situations from the past. For example, a person who felt unimportant in childhood will repeatedly choose partners who do not value them.
Running away from the trap. We do everything to avoid feeling the pain. Someone who fears failure will procrastinate on important tasks or escape into games and TV shows just to avoid facing their fear.
Fighting the trap. We desperately try to prove the opposite. A person with a deep-seated feeling that "something is wrong with me" might become an obsessive perfectionist, trying to be flawless so that no one will notice their perceived "flaws."
How does schema therapy help take off these "glasses" and escape the trap?
Our work is not a battle with yourself, but a gentle healing process. Step by step, we will:
1. Find and name your traps.
First, we identify which "distorting glasses" you are wearing and which traps they lead you into. You will gain crystal clarity: "Ah, so that's why I do that!" This realization alone brings immense relief.
2. Get to know your inner "modes."
These are like different "characters" inside you that get activated in response to a trap. We will meet your Inner Critic, who scolds and devalues you, and your Vulnerable Child—the part that holds all the pain, loneliness, and fear.
3. Heal the Inner Child.
This is the heart of our work. We don't just talk about the past. Using special, proven techniques, we give your vulnerable part what it so desperately needed but didn't receive in childhood: a sense of safety, support, acceptance, and unconditional love.
4. Strengthen your Healthy Adult.
This is the main goal of therapy. We purposefully nurture the wise and caring "captain" of your inner world. It is your Healthy Adult who will learn to:
Soothe the Inner Critic.
Care for the needs of the Vulnerable Child.
See reality without the "distorting glasses."
Choose new, healthy ways of behaving instead of falling into old traps.
Ultimately, you stop being a hostage to your automatic reactions. You gain the freedom of choice—the ability to build your life based not on the fears of the past, but on your inner strength, values, and desires.
Feel free to contact me if you would like to know more, or if you want to book a a session.
